Don’t marry a man who will call you extravagant for desiring basic things – Nigerian father of four advises ladies

A Nigerian marriage therapist and father of four, Shamseddin Giwa, has advised women to not marry men who see basic life necessities as luxury.  He shared the advice after watching a video where someone said using a washing machine is a sin, claiming that clothes need to be hand washed for the wife to get the blessing attached.  Taking to his Facebook page, Mr Giwa wrote; True love is not measured by poverty or suffering. Don’t marry a man who will call you extravagant for desiring basic things.’ “Imagine how many young men may have gone home with that mindset. Life is already challenging enough as it is, use whatever means and tool available to you to make is easier,” he added.  – Having a maid to help out doesn’t mean you won’t teach your children. – Pepper grounded with a blender is not less effective and delicious. – Where schedule is a challenge, frozen food to be microwaved on the go helps a lot. – Washing machine is no longer a luxury. The list is endless. Gone are the days where marriage required skills such as the ability to pound with mortar and pestle, make vegetable soup and sweep a whole compound. Now, the values sought are deeper; intelligence, enlightenment, leadership, goal orientation, life goal, entrepreneurship, versatility, financial stability and general coordination are more likely to get you married and keep you married. While in the marriage, these are also more likely to make life easier for you. Why sweep a whole compound and wash a mountain of clothes at the same time as cooking at the same time as sweeping and doing several other things without expecting to get lost? Why do all when there are given ways to make it easier? It is true that realities differ but the hard way is not the only way, the hard way is not the smart way. Irony: the hard way is not even always the cheapest way. Seeking easier routes to life does not make you lazy, it doesn’t make you less of a wife, and it doesn’t make you less responsible as a person. This is where many refer to mothers wrong, forgetting even they, at different points had help in the form of maids, nieces and family from the village. If they had more, they would embrace it and be happier. Yes, sometimes these things need financial backing which we may not have so we go back to analogue ways as we strive to get better. This is absolutely fine but don’t get it twisted, a smart head is what super wives are made of, not a suffer head.    The post Don’t marry a man who will call you extravagant for desiring basic things – Nigerian father of four advises ladies appeared first on Linda Ikeji Blog.